The Sustainability of Moral Values in Marriage Towards a Nation Building

I. INTRODUCTION

The growth and development of an organisation or society depend largely on the product of a good family, this is because family is the basic unit of any organisation. It is described as the microscope by which the larger society depends. It is also regarded as the child's first social environment. In addition, every person is made aware of his role and obligation with a long period of socialization during his childhood, how he/she learns from others peoples; the way to behave, act and demonstrate his attitude in the society. Meanwhile, before family, there is marriage, which is seen as one important institution. It is an institution which dictates how an organisation or society at large looks like whether in the area of exhibiting socio-norm or moral values. Omidiwura (1999) agreed with this submission when he opined that whatever happened in the moral life of a nation is the aggregate of what obtains in the family. Besides, the quality of the family life dictates the worth of the society. In the light of the foregoing, to promote marriage and everything that revolves around it, there are some virtues that need to be put into consideration and hold in high esteem once a marriage is put in place.

Going further, as prominent as moral values are in the fold of the marriage institution, it is disheartening that there are lot of moral decadence which are responsible for the retrogression of the society. Perhaps, this may be the reason why Vasudev (2004) cited by Wahab and Adesupo (2012) stated that societal degeneration is sending shock waves down in human spine. The collapse of societal values is apparently driving the masses to the brink of disaster, and if left unchecked it could lead to serious consequences for humanity. In addition, if there is no character training among the youths and the aged there may not be a reputable society. Thus, it is the responsibility of the parents within the confine of a marriage institution to inculcate moral values in the mind of the children before they move to larger society. In the light of the above, the alarming rate at which lack of moral values are being perpetrated by some Christians and non-Christians in the society in recent time calls for re-examinations. It is on this premise that this study examines some moral values that uphold marriage and how such could be inculcated in the mind of the young ones before moving to the larger society. The work also trace the consequence of lack of moral values in marriage institutions and how it could affect the building of a nation.

II. MARRIAGE AS A CONCEPT

Marriage as a concept is seen as the beginning of the family and a lifelong commitment. It is more than a physical union but cover the spiritual and emotional relationship of husband and wife. Marriage is defined as a legally recognised relationship and social contract between two people; specifically a man and a woman. This concept is based on a sexual relationship and implying a permanence of the union (https://www.allprodad.com>5reasons). In another dimension, marriages are what create a family and families are regarded as the most basic social unit upon which society is built. Thus, both marriage and family create status roles that are sanctioned by society. In addition, whatever happen to a marriage is likely to affect family and will have either positive or negative effects in the society. The view of Mbiti (1980) is in line with the above submission which stated that marriage is a complex affair with economic, social and religious aspects which often overlap so firmly that cannot be separated from one another. This also states that marriage and family are key structures in building a nation.

As a corollary, Norman (2004) opined that marriage is not a specifically Christian institution but God's gift to mankind. This implies that at creation God ordained a man and a woman to come together and become one flesh. (Gen. 2:24). Kunhiyop (2004) noted that marriage is the unity of man and woman, he acknowledged that the society has an impact on the meaning, expectations and aspiration of the union. This view indicates that marriage is the concept that integrates with other people and relationships in the society. Going further, a look at the scripture in Genesis 2:18-25 revealed that loneliness is not good for man, this made God to create a helper for Adam. Norman (2004) stated that procreation and companionship could be seen as the twin purposes of marriage. He acknowledged that companionship has priority over procreation because it is possible to have a real marriage even if the couple do not have children, but without companionship the procreation of children may not fulfill the divine purpose for marriage. In another dimension Mbiti (1980) is of the view that marriage and procreation in African society are a unity, he added that without procreation marriage is incomplete this states that African society lay emphasis on procreation.

As said earlier, marriage is an institution that cannot be ignored for the sustainability of the society, thus, to uphold its sanctity must be put in place by the couple. Meanwhile, the sanctity of the marriage is safeguarded by the Seventh Commandment in the Bible which says that "you shall not commit adultery". This implies that marriage must be holy as God is holy, besides, God wants ethical values to reflect in marriage as this will assist the couple, children and society at large. To promote unity, progress and development in marriage and society issues relating to moral values remain sacrosanct one. Jesus said in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 that adultery can damage the relationship between husband and wife which can even leads to divorce and may not be of good interest to the family and the society. Scripture stated in Hebrew 13:4 and I Cor. 6:9-10 that marriage needs to be honoured by all and its intimacies are to be kept exclusively between the spouses. Besides, for marriage to be holy there are some virtues to be put into consideration such as faithfulness, loyalty, endurance, obedience, love, commitment, humility, tolerance, accountability, transparency among other factors. These virtues are seen as ingredients that sustain marriage institution. Thus, this work reiterates that if the husband and wife allow the virtues to work between each other it will be easy to inculcate it in the mind of their children which will eventually have a positive impact in the society.

III. MORAL VALUES VIS-A-VIS MARRIAGE SANCTITY

To build a nation, there are series of institutions that are needed such as religion, politics, economy, education, marriage, family to mention a few. In the contemporary world, there is a factor which the society do not take cognizance of when it comes to the issue of nation building, and this could be seen in the area of moral values. Moral is defined by Hornby (2010) as a concept that concerns with principle of right and wrong behaviour. This implies that it is a concept that explains what is right or wrong obligations/responsibilities of a person or group of persons. Norman (2004) is of the view that moral is a concept that seeks to evaluate human conduct, the roles and principles used to control it. Omoregbe (1993) states that for a person to be morally good it means that such person is subject to the moral law or morally responsible from the foregoing, it could be deduced that a man who is conform with moral law can be seen as a responsible being. Omoregbe acknowledged that the concept of moral could mean an attitude that is good or praise worthy. Thus, in a given society, it is expected of an individual to exhibit an attitude worthy of emulation in the community; however, to do this the parents have a good role to play, this is because if the relationship between the couples are not cordial, there is tendency to be problem in the home and the society. However, as a way of sustaining home and the society there are some virtues such as loyalty, commitment, accountability, transparency, unity, love among others that remain sacrosanct to the holiness of marriage in the society and this in turn have impact toward the building of a nation.

Meanwhile, whenever a marriage is put in place, the leadership role of both husband and wife cannot be underestimated, they are the one who built the younger ones before coming to the larger society, and their integrity is very significant in the process of training their children. Ayokunle (2015) corroborates this submission when he submitted that what qualifies a person for leadership is directly related to character. He acknowledged that it is not about style, status, personal charisma, clout or achievement but his integrity makes a difference. This also signifies that honesty is one of the moral principles in marriage sanctity which must be inculcated in the mind of the children for the good of the society. Ayantayo (2017) states that honesty is a virtue that is essential in the course of interaction with others. This implies that to sustain a particular home and the society there should be honesty between the leader and the subjects.

One other virtue that is relevant in the promotion of marriage sanctity and nation building is accountability and transparency. In Genesis 2:24, God ordained that a man and a woman should come together and become one flesh. It is believed among some adherents of religious faith that to sustain marriage there should be transparency between the couples which should be inculcated in the mind of the children for the growth of the society. In the light of this accountability and transparency are needed for the building of the society.

In the Bible, scripture recorded that Joseph was transparent and gave account of the position he holds in Egypt. To develop a nation, both the leader and followers need to be transparent in the management of the resources of the nation; besides, the parent should note that their children are accountable for any assignment, money or position they hold in the family, this will give them the opportunity to aware that accountability is essential in any position they hold in the society. Another virtues that is relevant in the nation building is commitment. In marriage, one of the good virtues that is essential for its sustainability is commitment. Norman (2004) holds the view that it is a mean of committing husband and wife to live in an harmonious relationship in their wedlock. To this end, it is expected of the spouse in any given home or area to exhibit this virtue, knowing fully that it is a virtue that will bring progress and development in the society. For instance in the Bible, Nehemiah and Joseph express the spirit of commitment to built their nation. The parent should therefore inculcate the spirit in the mind of their children so that such will be exhibited by them if they found themselves in the position of authority or responsibility. One of the problems facing the nation in recent time is that some leaders are not committed to the progress of the nation. Some are after their own interest which still remains a thing of concern in the nation.

The concept of tolerance is one of the virtues that can bring sanctity into marriage and society at large. This virtue revolves around the willingness or ability to accept or tolerate an opinion or behaviour one is not willing to agree with or a way to accommodate people of different view. To sustain marriage one needs to tolerate each other for the peace of the family. Meanwhile, if tolerance is not allow in a given family, the children may think that it is the best option to coordinate affairs in the family and the society which may inturn resulting to crisis or chaos in the area of exhibiting attitude in the society. Ayantayo (2017) states that in a traditional setting, tolerance has its potentiality to promote cordial relationship for the peace of the society, this could also be seen in Islam and Christianity. Thus, if the concept of tolerance is inculcated in the mind of the children, it will be easy for the young ones to exhibit it in the society and the inculcation must start from the family.

One of those factors that can bring about divorce between husband and wife is lack of faithfulness. Faith is an act of trust in one's ability or knowledge while the act of faithfulness is seen as a means of staying with or supporting a particular person, organization or belief, it is synonymous with the concept of loyalty. This virtue is one of the factors that uphold a family. It is worthy to note that if there is lack of faithfulness between the spouse, such family may not likely stay. Before the young one move to the large society, it is good for the parents to inculcate the virtue of faithfulness in them. One of the problems Nigeria is facing in recent time is lack of faithfulness on the part of leaders. Some Nigerian leaders are not committed, loyal nor faithful to their subjects which is a problem in the nation. It is however good for the family to train and inculcate the virtues that are good for the sustainability of family which will in turn assist the growth of the society.

IV. LACK OF MORAL VALUES IN MARRIAGE VIS-À-VIS THE GROWTH OF THE SOCIETY

One of the concepts that is sacrosanct toward the growth and development of a society is Moral Value. It is a concept that promote the integrity of a person, value the dignity of man, promotion of human heritage and culture of a society. Besides, it promotes the peace and unity in the society. But a look at the society in recent time states that moral values are fading away in a gradual form, thereby leading to inability to obey and respect the constitutional authority. It is also disheartening that lack of moral which originated from some of the individual family have led to series of problems ranging from criminality, corruption, unfaithfulness, moral decadence, lack of tolerance to mention a few. At the early part of this work, it was established that moral values attached to the institutions of marriage can assist the growth of the society, thus, this section consider the inability to uphold some virtues inherent in marriage for the growth of the society.

One of the problems that can emerge if failed to uphold the Moral Values attached to marriage is Moral decadence. Moral decadence is the decline of deterioration of ethical and moral standards and values within a society, leading to a breakdown of established norms that guide proper behaviour. It involves a shift where behaviour previously considered wrong or unacceptable become normalised or even celebrated.

In a typical African society, Morality is a concept which is recognised, honoured, valued and promoted. The family often serves as a link and regarded as first socializing agent in the training of a child. Adewuyi (2012) argued with this submission when pointed out that the first point of contact for any child is the home, hence, it is expected of the parents to ensure that their children are brought up properly at the formative stage before moving to the larger society. But it is disheartening in our society in recent time perhaps because of education and civilization; some of the young ones lack respect for elders, some are not ready to take to corrections, indecency dressing are common or rampant among some youths in the society leading to problem in the area of exhibition of attitude. Some of these youths had bad behaviour because of inadequate home training, parental negligence, and the breakdown of traditional family structures, issue of media and technology, and society economic issues.

To allow orderliness in the society parents should be ready to give proper training to their children in order to prepare them for the task ahead. Akano and Adesupo (2014) agreed with about submission with the view that parents should not allow the pursuit of materials things at the expense of responsibilities on their children. They acknowledged that proper training need to be given to the children before moving to the larger world in order to promote social order in the society.

One other problem which lack of moral can cause in the society is indiscipline. To allow social order in the society discipline needs to be put in place and this revolves a way of controlling man's passions, emotions, desires and appetites Omoregbe (2000). Dairo (2005) adds that it is generally referred to as training, especially of the mind and character, to produce self-control and habits of obedience. The implication is that discipline implies control of minds and self demonstration of humility for the peace of an organisation. However, where discipline is not in existence, such society shall witness indiscipline which is the lack of discipline. It is also a situation in which people do not control their behaviour or obey rules (https://dictionary.cambridge.org). It is a concept which is characterized by disobedience, disorderly conduct, and failure to maintain discipline in a given environment, such as home, school, work place or in society at large. To promote social order in the society, parents need a lot of work to do, to allow their children to be responsible in the society. Apart from traditional values or custom, the words of God need to be inculcated in the mind of children for this will change their orientation to a positive way in the society.

Criminality is an act which negate the order of the society. It is an act which refers to the quality of state of a criminal, encompassing the totality of behaviours and actions that violate criminal law and are subject to state prosecution and punishment. It is a complex and interdisciplinary subject studied by law, sociology, psychology, and criminology. In Nigeria in recent time, there are various acts of criminal behaviour such as kidnapping, rape, banditry, terrorism, stealing to mention a few. It is disheartening that some youths in Nigerian society are involved in one or more of these crimes. While tracing the involvement of the youths with the act Adewuyi (2012) posits that a family who failed to train a child in the way of God is trying to expose him to the act of lawlessness in the society. He acknowledged that the words of God and African custom needs to be given to the children. As a way of discussing the level of inability to promote moral values, it should be noted that in a society where there is disorderliness, chaos, lack of unity; criminality has a wide-ranging and destructive impact on society as it affects individuals, communities, the economy and the political system. These consequences are physical, psychological, social and economic and they can be both short-term and long term on families, communities, polity and individuals' lives (https://ijeks.com).

V. CONCLUSION

The society we live in is characterized with acts of lawlessness and all kinds of vices. Little or no attention is given to the commandment or exhibition of morals making the society to face oppression, corruption, injustice, indiscipline, favouritism, unfair treatment among others. The implications of this is that adequate attention are not given to moral rectitude and they are treated with kid's glove at every societal level making society to face problems which are not even regarded as problems by some Nigerian leaders. One of those things to be noted is that moral values is a concept that is significant in the transformation of any society this is because it is a concept that is valued, honoured and cherished in any typical African society. It is also a concept that promotes and enrich the integrity of an individual if properly exhibited. Thus, to inculcate moral values it should begin from the family as the basic unit of socializing agent of the society. Besides, the worship centres such as Church and Mosque should do the needful in passing moral to the younger ones before they move to the larger society in order to have a good society.

VI. RECOMMENDATIONS

Based on the submission of this work the following suggestions are considered useful.

• To move the society forward, Nigerian government should not allow the digitalization of the world to dominate or have negative impact on the exhibition of moral values in the society. Thus, priority should be given to moral values in the society.

• The Church as the custodian of moral should do everything possible to preach against immoral acts in the society. Reason behind this is that some of the immoral acts that are found in the secular world are also in existence in the Church God.

• The fact that family is the basic unit of a society, it is imperative for the parents not to neglect their responsible on the children. We need to note that some parents because of money and civilization do not train the children the way it ought to be.

• In African culture, there are lots of values such as respect for elders, faithfulness, patriotism, obedience among others that are good for the growth of the society however, if we made use of them it will bring harmonious relationship in the society.

It is advisable for the parents and government not to neglect or relegate values that are good for the peace of the society.

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